


I wish you knew

by Kakii



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 20:21:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9842318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kakii/pseuds/Kakii
Summary: There's not that many Samo fanfictions out there so I decided to make one because they are really cute together, I hope you'll like it!





	1. Chapter 1

Sana's pov 

I woke up by the sound of Nayeon closing the door to the bedroom I shared with 3 other members of my girl group Twice. She was closing the door as quietly she could and than tiptoed back to her bed. I'm a light sleeper which means that I can wake up by the tiniest sound. I hate it. I clumsily threw my hands after my phone. It was 2:30 am. God, what did Nayeon do up this late. I thought for a moment and remember she once told me that she could wake up with a really dry throat and needed to drink water to be able to sleep again. I figured that she had forgotten to fill her water bottle that she usually have standing on the floor beside her bed just in case.  
I closed my eyes and was nearly falling back to sleep again when I suddenly hear someone accidentally hit the wall with their feet and my eyes flew up again. Damn it. I tried to sleep again but it was useless. I decided to go up and watch some tv so I took my cover and my pillow and tiptoed as quietly as Nayeon and pulled the door knob. I turned to see Mina, Jihyo and Nayeon sleep deeply in the room and I slipped out and closed the door carefully behind me again. 

I made my way to the couch and jumped when I saw that it wasn't empty. In the middle of the couch Momo was laying on her stomach sleeping with only a blanket.  
I calmed down when I realized it was her, so I sat down on the edge of the couch and watched her, I didn't want to wake her up by turning on the tv. What did she do out here, she has a nice and quiet room that she's sharing with Jeongyeon, why would she sleep on the couch. 

I just sat there in silence for a few minutes, listening to Momos soft breathing. I've always had a soft spot for her, ever since we were trainees on sixteen. We where really close back then and I couldn't help but get confusing feelings for her. I was devastated when she was eliminated from the show, I had the hardest time out of all the girls. But one day she came back. I was the happiest I could be, but also even more confused. That was also the moment I started to feel slightly protective of the girl. I never wanted her to disappear again. We debuted together with 7 other trainees that we had gotten close to and we became the new girl group, twice. That was around two years ago now and I still had the confusing feelings for my friend, I didn't mind though, I love the was my heart flutters every time she look at me. She suddenly pushed me out of my thought by moving and shifting position but apparently it wasn't a good one because she opened her eyes, groaned and throw her head back down on the couch. I can only imagine how uncomfortable it must be to sleep on the couch with no pillow and only thin blanket.

"Can't sleep?" Sana said trying not to scare the just awakened girl. She didn't succeed though.  
Momo jumped by surprise and gasped. She breathed heavily and sat so that she was now facing Sana and clanging on to the couch with one hand while covering her mouth with the other. Sana quickly moved closer to Momo feeling guilty for scaring her that bad.

"Sana?!" She let out after a minute of processing what happened. 

"Shh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" Sana said and reached for Momos hand trying not to laugh at the girls reaction.  
Momo let her head down and breathed in before looking up at Sana with a confused look.

"What are you doing up this late?" She asked and yawned softly. 

"I can't sleep..." I confessed and looked down quickly.  
I immediately felt Momos hand under my chin and she lifted up my head again so I was now facing her, she tugged a strain if hair behind my ear and rested her hand on my cheek for a moment. I felt the familiar flutter in my heart. She needs to stop doing these little things or I might do something stupid. 

"Are there a reason behind it?" Momo asked and looked in my eyes with concern. 

I looked down and shook my head. "No, you know I'm bad at sleeping" I looked up and chuckled and saw her nod softly and gave me a sad smile. She tugged at my sleeve softly. 

"Why are you sleeping on the couch though?" I asked and gestured to where she'd been sleeping a few minutes ago. 

"Oh..." she started "it's nothing really, Jeongyeon has been snoring really loud lately and it's really annoying" she said and shook her head in frustration. 

"Really? I didn't know Jeongyeon could snore" I said and laughed quietly remembering Momo once said that Jeongyeon slept so quietly she didn't ever know she was there. She slapped my arm and laughed too. 

Suddenly it hit me, that's why Momo had been so tired lately. Yesterday when we where dance practicing she was so tired she almost fell asleep on spot. We asked if she was okay and she just shook it of and continued dancing. It surprise me how amazingly strong she is. She always has been. Physically and mentally. I'm so scared that one day she won't be able to take it anymore and just fall apart. Sooner or later that's going to happen if she continues to suppress her feelings inside instead of talking about it. I took a deep breath and looked in her eyes, preparing me for a true answer.

"Momo..." I started, I had to at least try. I wanted to help her more than anything. It hurts to see her like this, isolated, it made me feel frustrated. "Are you okay?" I asked with deepest concern and I immediately saw a flash of vulnerability in her eyes but she quickly shook her head and I suddenly saw nothing. How did she do that I thought and frowned my face slightly. 

"I'm fine Sana, don't worry about me" she said softly with a sweet smile. I couldn't help but wonder how many feelings she held hidden under that smile. I decided not to push her any further. But I had to make sure.

"You promise to talk to me if something's wrong, right?" I asked and squeezed her hand firmly. For a second I saw an emotion in her eyes that I had never seen before. Almost like a call for help. The feeling in her eyes felt like a punch in my heart. But she shook that off too and I once again saw nothing. But she just nodded and mouthed thank you before she threw herself in my arms. I gladly welcomed her and pulled the covers I had taken with me around her too. I could feel her relax on my chest. I closed my eyes and rested my head on top of hers and rocked softly back and forth. I never wanted to let go. 

 

So this was the first chapter, I hope you guys liked it! Please comment if you want another chapter and if you want more ships in the story! ~ M


	2. Chapter 2

Sana's pov

I woke up by the smell of pancakes. I carefully opened my eyes and the sun was shining in my face threw the curtains. I pushed myself up and looked around to see that momo was gone. I breathed out and threw myself back down. I couldn't stop thinking about our small conversation last night. I knew that she was lying about Jeongyeon snoring, I know she doesn't snore because you can hear no sounds from their room at night. I just really want to know why she's having trouble sleeping.. there has to be a reason behind it. She have been quite of lately and it scares me. She even ditched jokball last friday just to take a nap. That's not the momo I know. Something is wrong and I know that. Even the strongest people can't stay strong by themselves for too long. I woke from my thoughts by a high voice screaming from the kitchen.

"BREAKFAST READY!!!" I hear Jihyo scream and I jumped a little. God her voice could brake a glass if she tried really hard. I took my cover around me and tossed into my room. I threw it on the bed and slipped my feets into my purple slippers. I heard a groan coming from Mina's bed. She sleepily turned her head to me and I tried to muffle a laugh because she looked like a mess, her hair was everywhere in her face and she could barely open her eyes. 

"..w-what time is it?" She asks following a big yawn.

I giggle and looked at my phone.  
"It's 8:30 am" I said and wondered how I could feel so alert, I barely slept last night.

"Ugh.." Mina let out and dropped into the pillow again. We didn't have anything on our schedule today so we where free to do whatever we wanted. I loved free days, especially free saturdays. We usually cook delicious food and watch movies or play games. We even partying by ourselves sometimes, we put on music and dances all night.  
I heard a weird noise from my stomach and decided to go and grab some breakfast. Right in the hall I was met by no one but Momo. She only wore a towel and her hair was wet. I froze. I couldn't help but follow a drop water that went down her hair to her collarbone and slowly made it's way further down chest... okay Sana look away what the heck are you doing. I mentally slapped myself. My eyes flew up to meet Momos. God Sana you're so stupid, control yourself. I blushed and tucked a strain of hair behind my ear. Momo didn't seem to notice the awkwardness because she was now smelling the air like a dog.

"Pancakes!" She said happily and smiled at me before slipping through me and into her room. 

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.  
I knew that I had feeling for her but I've tried not to think about her in that way because I wouldn't be able to be around her without getting all awkward... I mean sometimes when she's wearing something that grabs her feminine parts perfectly I can't help but blush and get all hot inside. I'm too shy to think of it.. but damn.. she's just perfect. 

I shook it off and finished my way through the hall and into the kitchen. Jeongyeon, Chaeyoung, Tzuyu and Dahyun was already sitting around the table eating. They where laughing and talking. Jihyo was causally flipping the last pancake making Chaeyoung applaud happily. I sat down beside Tzuyu and took a pancake from the pile in the middle of the table. They really where perfect, I admired the pancake for a moment before I was interrupted by the rest of the members. They sat down and took a pancake. Jihyo had joined us too. Nayeon made a thumbs up with her mouth stuffed with pancakes. She swallowed everything and signed.

"These are peeerfect" she said and closed her eyes hard. Jihyo just flipped her hair and winked at her. 

A while later me and Momo was the only ones left by the the table. I had noticed that she's only been picking at her pancake for the last couple of minutes.

"Hey" I said and she looked up at me.

"What?" She said as innocently as she could. 

"Aren't you hungry?" I asked carefully, not wanting to say the wrong thing. 

She looked down at her pancake again.  
"Nah.. I ate a huge dinner yesterday remember?" She shrugged and stood up to go and throw her pancake and put the plate in the dishwasher. 

I frowned my forehead. No she didn't?

"Momo" I said firmly. She froze. Her back was facing me. 

"What's going on?" I stood up and tried to reach out for her shoulder but she avoided my gesture and walked away. 

That's weird. 

I walked after her but she just walked into her room and closed the door. I leaned against the door and I heard her sobbing. My heart broke into a million pieces. I looked behind me to see Jeongyeon on the couch with Nayeon and Jihyo. That means Momo's alone in the room.  
I carefully twisted the door knob and pushed the door open. She sat on the bed with her legs pushed to her chest and cried. I closed the door quickly and made my way over to the girl. I wrapped my hands around her and held her as tight as I could. I wanted her to feel, to know that I'm here. She hold onto the back of my shirt with firm grips. 

"Shh.. it's okay.. I'm here" I assured her and kissed the top of her head softly. Her sobs softened by the touch and she buried her face in the crook of my neck. I felt tears form in my eyes, I closed them. Be strong Sana, she needs you. She still sobbed but the crying had faded. I laid down and took her with me. We just laid there, her arms and legs wrapped around my body, her head on my chest. I had my arms around her and I rested my head on top of hears, kissed it from time to time, let one hand go through her soft hair. Suddenly she looked up at me, with puffy eyes. I looked at her with my full attention. 

"I want to tell you something..." 

 

I'm sorry for the late update. I'm going to try and write more often I promise. And I'm sorry for this ending but you have to wait for the next chapter! Please give me feedback! I love you all ~ M


	3. Chapter 3

Momo's pov 

"I want to tell you something..."

~Flashback~

~1 month ago~

"Dad I...-"

The hit came fast and my head flew to the side when the hand collided with my face, my hands found it's way over my head in defense. The pain came shortly after. A tear rolled down my cheek as I looked up at my father. He had never hurt me before.. never in my life. Sure we had heated arguments sometimes but I never thought he would actually hit me. He's my father after all. 

"Dad.. I'm sorry" I tried again but he didn't answer, he just turned his back to me and walked away. 

I just came out.

I had been thinking about coming out as bisexual to my parents for a while now but I'd been to scared to bring up the subject. What if they'll look at me differently?  
That was my biggest fear. I love my parents and I share literally everything with them and they've always been supportive of my choices, but this thing was different. I knew what they thought about the lgbt community, they are these really straight parents that wants you to find a man to marry and have kids with. They said that they wanted me to have a "normal" life. But I couldn't live in a lie forever, I had to tell them that I didn't care if I would marry a man or a woman in the future, I like both and that's just who I am. 

~1 hour earlier that day~

I sat on my bed. Me and the other members had gotten a week to visit our families which we all were really grateful for.   
I was thinking about what to say to my parents.. I really wanted to come out, have the weight lift off my shoulders that was quietly choking me sometimes. I could see their faces in my mind, god they don't look happy. I shook it of and closed my eyes. I really wanted to do this and I planned on telling them at dinner.  
It took me some time to figure out that I was bisexual, it was when I was in seventh grade and had gotten some feelings for one of my girlfriends. She was beautiful, smart and funny, I wasn't really sure what I was feeling at the time all I knew was that I always wanted to be close to her. We kissed once or twice, but as friends, because in our world there was such things as "friendly" kissed. I laugh about that now though. She changed school when we started eight grade and I was devastated. That was when I actually knew and acknowledged to myself that I had actually been in love with her. It took some more time to actually accept myself and now we're at that point where I'm totally open about my sexuality, most people knew, except from my parents, and Sana.. but that's a different story.. Now it was time to let my parents know too. 

I looked at my phone, it's 5:45, dinner would be ready by 6. The time was passing by slowly. I breathed out and told myself that it was going to be fine. I stood up and went downstairs. 

"Mom" I greeted my mother when I got into the kitchen. She looked up at me and smiled. She told me to sit down because dinner was almost ready. I heard dad walking up beside me and he putted a hand on my shoulder. My family was perfect. Little did I know, it would be broken in just an hour. 

A minute after, we all sat down and ate my mothers delicious food. She made the best food in the world and today she'd made my favorite dish, jokbal.  
When we'd all finished our food I asked my parents to stay a bit longer and they looked at me. My dad who was on his way up sat down again and now I had four confused eyes on me. 

"Mom, dad..." I started and looked down. I changed my mind, I can't do this. 

"What is it sweetie?" My mom asked and tilted her head. "Is something wrong?" 

"No no I just.. ah.." I was so nervous I felt my voice started to shake a little as I spoke.   
"I've been wanting... to tell you guys.. something for a while now.." I paused, I had to breath.

I had their attention and they watched me with patience. 

"I'm.. bisexual" I said as firmly as I could. I was searching in my parents eyes for any type of response, but it was quiet. It felt like a bomb dropped in my heart. Ticking. I had no idea when it would explode. Suddenly my dad coughed slightly.

"No honey... you're not" he said and looked at my mother who was still sitting frozen, watching me. "Whatever you feel, it's not real, you like men Momo" my dad continued. 

That pushed me over the edge. 

"How dare you say that my feelings aren't real?! You have no idea what I'm feeling and I love girls too dad, I love them!" I almost screamed out. Waking my mother from her dormancy. Her mouth was open and she held her hand over her heart. My dad flew up and the chair fell backwards. He pulled me up and held my arm tight. Ouch.

"If that's how you feel then get out!" My dad screamed at my face. 

What? 

"Mom..." I tried but she didn't look at me. I glimpsed a tear on my mothers cheek, a tear of disappointment..   
I looked at my dad again that had a serious face. It scared me a little. I backed away from him.

"..I'm still the same person that I was five minutes ago.." I felt tears running down my face. 

"You made your decision now we make ours" he spoke for both himself and my mother. "Either you get out of this house now or I'll do it myself" he threatened.

I can't believe this is happening.   
Is this my family?   
No, I can't see them.   
The bomb in my heart had exploded and left it in a million pieces. 

"Get out!" he tried again and gestured to the door with his hand. 

"You can't do this..." I pleaded and he didn't even show any affection at all. He's like a stone. "I love you" 

"You have to understand that some thing, you have to keep to yourself or others will get hurt.." my mother finally spoke. I think she knew about my sexuality but had decided not to act on it and just pretend it wasn't real, I hadn't said anything after all, I think this pushed her into that hole she's been trying to cover. "We've failed you.." she said and stood up.

I didn't know what to say anymore. I just looked at them with pleading eyes. How can they do this. What did I do wrong? 

"Get out. NOW!" My dad screamed.   
I was taken back and almost fell backwards. 

"Dad I...-" 

That's when it happened. When not only my heart fell into millions of peaces. My life fell into peaces too. My dad took a step forwards and shoved my face hard with his fist. Ouch.

"Dad... I'm sorry" I tried again but he didn't answer me. He just turned his back to me and walked away. I cried even more now. 

I ran up to my room, packed my stuff. I didn't have much to carry because I was supposed to only stay home for a week. I threw the back back I'd packed in onto my back and ran downstairs again. I threw a last glance at my parents who looked away. 

Was this the end? Was this the end of my family? I couldn't even think. I opened the out door and ran. I called our manager who directly booked a plain for me. I decided not to tell what really happened, just that my mother had turned sick and didn't want to infect me too.. if only that was true. 

~end of flashback~ 

 

My heart was hurting while writing this. I hope you understand why she's acting the way she does now. :( I hope you stay tuned for more chapters! love you all ~ M


	4. Chapter 4

Sana's pov 

I felt tears running down my face. I held Momo even tighter than before. She was crying again too. The story she just told me was more than I'd expected. I felt so heartbroken for the girl in my arms. No one should go through something like that... not ever. 

"I'm so sorry Momo" I said and took her head in my hands. I wiped her tears and putted my forehead on hers. "I can't believe they did that to you..." I said and a tear fell. I was so mad.   
I remember meeting her parents once. I always thought that the Hirai family was perfect, I even envied them sometimes. Now all I felt for the two elder was hate. 

"Thank you for listening..." she broke the silence. She looked up for me with sad eyes.  
I rested my hand on her cheek. 

"You know you can always talk to me, about anything" I looked into her eyes, really making sure she understood. But I had to ask..  
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" I tilted my head, still my hand on her cheek. She looked down but reached out to my hand on her face. She held it softly.

"..I wanted too" she started.   
"But I was afraid you would leave me too.." she said, her voice broke by the last words. I saw tears form in her eyes. She looked up at me to see my reaction. I felt a tear running down my cheek again. I was trying really hard not to cry, to stay strong for the broken girl but I couldn't help myself, the tears was falling without my control. I looked deeply into her eyes.

"You know I would never leave you." I assured her, I took her hand and putted it on my chest. "You feel that?" She nodded and looked into my eyes. "As long as my heart beats, I will always be by your side" 

She replaced her hand with her head. She hugged me tighter that she'd ever done before. The embrace was needy and I could feel her relax at the sound of my heartbeats. She was soon asleep in my arms. I watched her as she slept. She looked so peaceful, so innocent. I ran my fingers through her hair softly, not wanting to wake her up. I felt one more tear run down my cheek.   
I sighed, my feelings for this girl was killing me. I had felt it more the past few months. I can't go and watch her everyday when all I want to do is to feel her lips in mine, I want to watch her blush when I tell her that she's beautiful, I want to make her breakfast, I want to kiss her goodnight. I want her to love me back.. this is a thing I have to suppress a little longer though.. I can't tell her how I feel when she's in this shape. I'll have to wait a little longer. I could wait a million years for this girl if I had too... 

I shook my thoughts off, now I'm going to put all my energy on the girl in my arms. I'm going to make her happy again, make her Hirai Momo again. I decided not to think about my feelings but hers until she's stable again, then maybe, I can tell her how I feel, maybe. Suddenly I saw the door open slowly. Nayeon slipped her head inside. She saw the sleeping Momo in my arms. She gestured for me to get up and talk to her outside. I hesitated at first but I carefully freed myself from Momos grip and laid her head on the pillow and covered her with a fluffy blanket. I gave the girl one last look before I slipped out and Nayeon closed the door behind us. 

"What is going on?" She asked as soon as we'd gotten out of the room. Of course I'm not the only one noticing her odd behavior and the other bandmates are worried too. I decided not to tell the true story because I didn't want to loose Momos trust in me. 

".. I don't know.. she don't want to tell me" I said and looked down. Playing with my fingers. Nayeon got closer to me, studied my face carefully. 

"She didn't tell you anything?" She tilted her head confused. "What did you even do in there for three hours then?" 

Three hours? I threw a glance at the clock in the kitchen. It's almost 1 pm. 

"She told me.. that she's having a little family drama at the moment, but it's nothing serious really, she told us not to worry about it" I lied, well almost. I didn't lie about the family drama but no details included so it could be anything. 

"Oh.." she just let out and looked down. "Were worried about her.." she said and looked at me again with a sad face. 

"I know.. me too.." I said and stepped forward to give the older girl a hug. It must be hard for them not knowing what's going on. Maybe it would be easier to help Momo if she got help from all eight of us.. but I couldn't say anything, I couldn't do that to Momo. I couldn't help but feel special that she just told me though. I smiled a little for myself over Nayeons shoulder. Now I have Momo all to myself, am I selfish for thinking that? Yes Sana stop it, your friends are worried sick.. although I felt compassion for the other girls I felt happy that I knew. We pulled apart and she nodded at me and walked into the kitchen where she'd been sitting with Mina and Tzuyu.  
I passed Momos bedroom door and heard her mumble from inside. I opened the door to check on her. I saw her twitching and her eyes was closing hard. Her hands where everywhere. I walked in and closed the door. I went over to the bed and sat down on the edge and was right about to wake her up when she let out clear words. 

"N-No please!" She screamed in her sleep. She was sweating now. Her forehead where shining and she breathed fast. I shook her shoulders carefully. 

"No no no" she turned her head to the side hiding in her arms. I felt my heart hurt when I understood what impact her family had given to her. I shook her a bit harder, not too hard.

"Momo it's me wake up" I said while shaking her. She flew up and breathed heavily. She looked around and when she saw me she calmed down a little. I scooted over to her and embraced her. Her breathed calmed down and she locked her arms around my waist. She breathed into my neck and send shivers down my spine. I felt her lips just slightly brushing on my neck giving me goosebumps. I closed my eyes and tried to think of anything but the girl in my arms. She must have felt how tense I suddenly became because she shifted in my arms to sit straight and look at me, still her arms around me. I opened my eyes to meet Momos brown orbs watching me. She searched in my eyes for some kind of answer but she couldn't find anything. I wonder if she's feeling like I did last night when I tried to found answers in her. I gave the girl a quick smile and she just had to smile back. We decided to go out to the others, we where going to plan on what we where going to do tonight. We jumped out of bed and gathered all the girls in the living room. Jihyo was the first one to speak up. 

"So, what should we do tonight?" She asked excited. 

This chapter was more about how Sana reacted to Momos story and how she understood that her feelings could get in the way and decided to wait. The next chapter will be a bit brighter! Please give me feedback! Love you all ~ M


	5. Chapter 5

A quick A/N, I'm sorry for the late update but I've been really busy with school! I will try to update the future chapters as soon as I can so please stay active! I hope you enjoy! ~ M

Sana's pov

We where all thinking about possible things to do together. We'd gone out last Saturday to a fancy five star restaurant. I had an amazing experience and I think we all had food coma after all the food we ate that night. Except from Momo, she didn't eat that much.. we all noticed but we couldn't do much. At least she ate as much as she could, we thought. Now when I know the meaning behind her odd behavior, I actually understand her.

We all sat in silence thinking about something to do.  
Suddenly Chaeyoung spoke up. 

"Why don't we watch a romantic movie?" She squealed happily but at least half of the group made frowned faces. Mina agreed with Chaeyoung and nodded furiously. 

"Noooo please don't do that to me" Joungyeon said ironic and held a hand over her chest. "I would rather watch a scary movie!" She said as she just came up with the idea. Now the majority of the group looked scared. Mina and Chaeyoung made eye contact, then shook their heads at the same time and Chaeyoung pouted.  
Tzuyu held her breath and looked at anything but the band members, trying to hide her fear.  
Jihyo had noticed Tzuyu and laid a hand on her shoulder squeezing it softly. 

"If you want to scare the hell out off our loved maknae again and have her sleeping in one of your beds tonight, go ahead" she said and looked at us with a slight warning gaze. We knew that we had to let the subject go and not push it any further because a scared Tzuyu is a real pain, she wouldn't let anyone leave her alone for a second, and sleep? When scared Tzuyu was in the house sleep was a non existing word for almost all of the members. Mina and Chaeyoung breathed out in relief, they hated scary movies too, every time the other members watched a horror movie they would sit under a blanket in the corner of the couch and look at Mina's phone instead. Tzuyu just looked at Jihyo and smiled. She snuggled onto her in a thankful manner. Jihyo felt like a proud mother protecting her child.

"You know, there's other things to do than watch movies.." Nayeon spoke up still lost in her thoughts. All eyes was now fixed on the elder. "We could...."  
We waited patiently with big eyes. Nodding our heads every time she tried to say what she was thinking. "We could..." 

"Yes...?" Chayeon encouraged. 

"... I really don't know" she ended up saying and breathed out. We all flew back where we was sitting. I let out a sign. This is how our discussions usually worked out. It usually took an hour to decide what to do.

Suddenly I felt Momos pinky finger brush against my hand as we sat on the floor. I felt a tingling feeling in my stomach and I peeked at our hands for a second before I looked away nervously. 'Oh god' I felt myself tens up. Did I say that she looked really pretty today? She started to gently brush her pinky on my hand. I felt my body heat up. 'Is she trying to kill me?' I breathed out as I tried to calm my heartbeats. Skinship is a normal thing in Twice and we're famous for being close to each other so why would I go crazy because she touch my hand!  
I sighed deeply and I was brought back to reality when Dahyun spoke directly to me.

"Are you okay Sana?" She asked and with that all eyes was pointing at me. I slowly pulled my hands away from the floor 'away from Momos hand' and held them safe in my lap as I looked up. 

"I'm fine" I said and smiled at my members. "Why?" I asked innocently. 

"It just looked like you where somewhere else" she said and started to talk to the members again. 

Am I that oblivious? 

I looked over at Momo where she sat beside me. She noticed me looking and smiled micheviously at me. I immediately looked away. 'What was that? Did she just..' Snap out of it Sana it's not what you think, you're just being delusional. What happened with deciding to 'turn off' my feelings for the girl just a while ago?  Of course it's hard to not feel anything for someone you feel so much for... but I need to be here for her and if I tell her how I feel she might be scared away and she'll have no one and do I don't know what...

We ended up staying home this Saturday. We played games on the tv like, just dance and super Mario. We danced to music and ate Pizza. We also ended up drinking a little... well, almost all of us, Tzuyu our lovely maknae was still underage. She didn't mind tho, she thought the smell was so bad she didn't want to drink it.  
The time was around 10 pm and we all sat on the couch slightly drunk. I sat in the corner of the couch with Momo beside me clanging around my neck. Her head was hanging on my shoulders. 

"We should play a game" Jihyo said excitingly. We all nodded and straighten our backs and hovered ourselves forward. "What about... never have I ever?" Jihyo said and looked around to see everyone agree. We all took a drink 'Tzuyu took a soda' and we began to play. The first one up was Nayeon. 

"Never have I ever... been drinking when I was underage" she said and took a sip of her own drink and watched as me, Momo and Mina brought our drinks to our mouths too.  
We giggled and threw a glance at Mina. She's always been a little shy and we would never have guessed. She just shrugged and told us that she's more bad ass than we thought and ended her sentence with a wink. Chaeyoung just sat with her mouth wide open. 

"Okay moving on" this time it was dahyun's turn to speak up. "Never have I ever... kissed a boy" she asked curiously and surprisingly not that many bottles moved this time. Everyone watched as Momo, Jihyo and I drank from our soju. They made sounds and clapped their hands. I didn't feel proud at all though. My kiss with a boy didn't go well because it didn't feel right to kiss him so I ran away from him. It was my first and last kiss... he was one of my best friends in school so I figured that was the reason why it felt so wrong...  
I threw a glance at Momo to see her look down. 'Maybe she's been through something like me too' I thought for myself. Suddenly a voice spoke up. 

"Never have I ever..." chaeyoung said in thought. "Never have I ever... kissed a girl" she said and her eyes widened a bit in a curious way. Everyone sat in silence for a minute. I looked around. 'Should I just drink?' I thought. I had kissed girls once, or twice. Or a couple of times. It wasn't really a secret. I reached for my bottle and took a proud sip. A kiss can also be just a simple kiss, it doesn't have to involve any feelings. I believe my sip gave other members courage to do so too because shortly after Nayeon, Jeongyeon and Mina took a sip. Everyone turned to Mina. Our shy penguin. 

"Yahhh you guys are so judgmental, do you even know me? please" she said and muttered. We where really drunk right now.

I looked at Momo quickly. She must have kissed a girl at some point right? She didn't look up. Her gaze was clued to one particular spot on the floor. Was she nervous? Suddenly it hit me slowly. 'What if she's afraid to be her true self because the last time she was she got rejected and thrown out by the people who loved her, who she loved... god, I would be scared too...'  
I reached to squeeze her shoulder lightly, or messily because I really wasn't sober at the moment. She looked up at me with watery eyes. She gave me a weak smile and lowered her head on my shoulder. I heard her whisper my name so I moved my head closer to hers. 

"Can we go somewhere else?"


	6. Chapter 6

Sana's pov

I felt Momos breath on my cheek, it was hot and it sent shivers down my spine. 

"O..of course" I said and tried not to sound too nervous. I stood up and held onto the wall behind me to steady myself, I reached out my hand for Momo to help get up from where she was sitting and she gladly took it. I pulled her up and she accidentally tripped and pushed me up against the wall. She looked up at me for a moment, our faces where really close and I could feel myself staring straight at her lips, my mind was blurry and I couldn't think properly, an invisible force made me move forwards slowly, her plump lips are so tempting...   
I was interrupted by Nayeon who coughed slightly. We quickly turned our heads away from each other to look at Nayeon and the others who where staring at us with frowned faces. 

"What are you doing?" Nayeon asked and frowned her eyebrows.

"Are you going somewhere?" Jihyo asked and out of nowhere Chaeyoung spoke up rather not so sober.  
"Are you going to kiss?" She asked and earned a slap from Mina.  
"Aishh you don't ask such thing!" She whispered harshly at the younger member. 

"What" Was all I managed to say. "I... I just...I...hhh..." damn Sana what are you doing!! My mind was screaming for me to come up with an excuse why I almost "accidentally" kissed Momo but I couldn't think, my brain was worthless because of the alcohol. I stood frozen with Momo who still had me trapped between her own body and the wall, which didn't help much either.   
"I... need to go to the bathroom!" I said quickly and gently shoved Momo to the side and made my way to the bathroom, I tripped a few times but I didn't care to look back at the others who just sat there in confusion. 

I immediately locked the door and threw myself over the sink and turned on the cold water. I washed my face in hope that I would wake up from my drunken state. I signed when it didn't work and I suddenly felt a warm tear run down my cold face. I wiped it away quickly and looked in the mirror in front of me. I saw my blurry self and signed, I let a few more tears fall, I always get emotional when I'm drunk, the slightest little thing can make me cry and I don't even need a reason. I sat down on the floor and sobbed lightly, why am I like this.., the thought made me cry even more. I jumped when I heard a knock on the bathroom door and I heard a voice.

"Sana.. open up, it's me" it was the voice that belonged to the one I felt so much for. I started to cry even harder. Stop crying you pabo!!

"Are you okay?" She asked and knocked again carefully. "Sana?" She sounded worried now so I stood up and opened the door. She went inside and locked the door behind her.   
She touched my cheek with her hand and took a strain of hair and brushed it behind my ear. 

"You look like a mess" she chuckled and pulled me in for a hug. She caressed my hair and held my head close to her chest. Wo...h they feel so soft... so good... so... wait WHA-

I pulled away quickly and hovered over the sink again. I'm feeling so hot what is this feeling?! My head was spinning and I really didn't think straight. Please god I don't want to be drunk anymore! I tried to beg with my eyes closed. I knew I could handle my attraction sober but while drunk, my emotions flew freely. I couldn't handle it.   
I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder causing me to turn around. 

"Sana, are you okay?" She asked with concern. I couldn't help but wonder how much I drank comparing to the others, Momo seemed to be pretty sober at the moment. 

"I'm just... drunk" I said, I didn't even care to come up with any excuses for my odd behavior, or care? I couldn't really think at all. I decided to just trust my mouth and speak my thoughts.

"Come here, I'll take you to bed" she said and laid an arm around my waist to help me to our destination. We didn't get far because I stopped right outside the bathroom. 

"Why did you stop Sana?" Momo asked confused. I mumbled something I'm not sure what it was, I was so tired my eyes didn't manage to stay open and I just let my mind speak freely. 

"What did you say" she asked and got even closer to my head.

"I.. want to.. sleep.. with you" I mumbled and threw my arms around her neck and hid my face in the crook of her neck. My legs didn't manage to hold me up anymore. I even got surprised by myself for actually saying what I was thinking. 

She stayed quiet for a few seconds but answered as causal she could.

"Arasso arasso, come here" she said and lifted me up, her hands under my legs and around my neck. I closed me eyes and my head fell on her shoulder. Aishh she's so strong... it was the last thing I thought before I fell asleep. 

\-------------------------------------------------------

Momo's pov

I carried the girl in my arms into me and Jeongyeon's bedroom and closed the door behind me with my foot. I carefully laid her on the bed and I noticed her shifting uncomfortably in her position. I figured that it would be too uncomfortable for her to sleep in her clothes so I took an oversized pink t-shirt from my closet and threw it on the bed. I sat her up and she mumbled things in her sleep. I chuckled at her cuteness and started to pull up her shirt, once it was of I took the pink t-shirt and dressed her with it. I gently laid her back down and moved down to take of her pants. When I was done I noticed that she she had makeup all over her face, I signed and grabbed the makeup remover from my nightstand drawer and started to gently clean her face. She's so pretty... I couldn't help but smile at the thought.  
I felt myself getting really tired because of my lack of sleep lately. I got ready too and when I was done I pulled the covers over our bodies and turned off the light on my nightstand. 

I closed my eyes but I didn't manage to fall asleep, i had too much going on in my head. My parents, our schedule, Sana...   
I always get lost in my thoughts at night. It's a thing I've always done since I was a child. I just have too much to think about and the only time I can think things through is at night because it's all quiet and dark, it's like I'm living my thoughts in some way and when everything is getting too heavy I like to take a shower, I feel like all my problems and thoughts are just following the water that's running down my body and disappears. It's quite a revealing feeling. 

I signed deeply when I looked over at the sleeping girl beside me. I know that I have feelings for her, I've always known. When I first saw her I thought that she was the most beautiful human being I've ever seen and don't forget the most cutest and dorkiest. I've never really acted on my feelings because I'm afraid that she'll reject me, I've hidden my feelings on the bottom of my heart for a really long time and I'm going to go mad if I keep pushing them away like this. I've noticed that she have been acting strange around me lately and I can't tell in which way, it doesn't fail to make me confused though.

Suddenly a thought hit me, why did I want to go away with her today? I couldn't even remember because I was not sober at that very specific moment and maybe it was for a good cause that all of this happened because I don't know what drunk Momo could've done...   
And... did she really try to kiss me?   
My heart fluttered at the thought and I smiled. I turned around so I was facing her. She was laying with her back against me so my hand carefully made it's way to rest gently on her waist. 

She's always making me forget about my parents for the time being. She's better than any shower I've taken.   
To be honest I couldn't care less about my parents anymore, I'm so mad at them for betraying me... the thing is that I still have nightmares from the abuse. I wish I didn't have them but the worst thing that could happen to me happened and now I'll have to live with that. I touched my cheek and felt a tear running down. I signed and closed my eyes. I held onto the girl tighter and scooted closer to her so I could feel her warm body against mine, I rested my head right behind hers so I could feel her calming scent. I felt my eyelids getting heavy and I finally gave into slumber.

"Mnight.. Sana.."

 

I'm sorry for the late update, I'll really try to work faster, I hope you're still with me! Stay tuned because I'm already working on chapter 7. Love y'all <3 - M


End file.
